(A transform within for development)
Appearance in the transformation unduly greets the inherent culture, which succumbs to the pre conceptual perspectives. Delusion racks the individual in beholding the edge, confining to the endless protocols. System adapts to the change to enrol the order and peace. Yet, ways of executing ‘transformation of mind’ changes with time deceptively appears at one corner and hopefully at the other!
It is almost five years alone in this Iceland, each day is worse than yesterday. Pondering over the past is been part of me, but no chance to express my regret almost kills me daily. I had murdered my brother intentionally with greed to have entire property. Though mystery was planned well but somehow I was caught under this utopia’s system! Fortunately, ‘hanging till death’ is no longer an option to the judge; still verdict was ‘free bird in the nest’ – lifetime stay in an Iceland with no other living beings. Cops do visit once in a month to suffice me with very minimal groceries. There was no need for that here as it was impossible for me to escape from this small Iceland. Just to make me alive they did so and now it appears like ‘hanging till death’ was far better than this.
When there is enough time to contemplate within, with no intention then eventually behaviour elevates channelling with nature, may be labelled as good on the relative assess! Initially I felt very lucky, later loneliness had pushed me to the verge of my life. There was no meaning in living as dead! None to see, talk, express, kill, gratify, cheat or Love. No objective to achieve and nothing to vandalize. I had never heard about this kind of judgement ever in my life. Now I am the first to endure the experiment from the court.
Lurking criminal inside had softened as ice and craving for the good. Money mind had deplored its lust and unlikely to desire the same. Realization happens at some point that being happy is the most important than making. Only the good ways to be content sustains the being and rest delusively circumvent us. Now it is too late to rewind and play. Suicide temptations do attack me often, but ‘being’ within pushes to breathe. Now I know the value of each human being and somehow living dead.
One day surprisingly at my stay I found a cute puppy lying around! Brown eyed medium chocolate with fleece coat attracted me to the core. Suddenly I felt that I am still alive. Perplexed that how it came till here? May be it came along with the cops? Or is there any other place out of my reach where animal’s breed. Iceland is just half a mile radial. I failed to find the answer but gained my long lost hopes of my staying. That small cute puppy raised its eyebrows with twinkling small eyes looked at me with tilted face, my inner being felt so happy at once. It slowly came towards me shaking its tail. I hugged it and kissed and it did the same.
In my world where there were no living organisms apart from plants and trees it is astonishingly lucky to have a companion. My life started to change, I became kid playing along with it. One can imagine my state of being when instantly life takes a turn towards happiness .I sacrificed a meal per day and fed my other life. I laughed, talked, ate, played, loved and lived together for three months happily. Both of us attached immensely as one means the only other being.
It is true that once so called ‘me’ who was a notorious criminal is now transforming to a good being. May be my metamorphose state be deceptive to the other world, but within myself content of being is realized. Now the punishment no longer means to me, maybe it is no longer needed. Nevertheless, I am least bothered about the other world and I am happy to end here in the same state.
I heard the ship whistling along with the roaring waves of the sea. Cops had come to my place for their monthly routine. I dint want them to know about my other life, so pushed my puppy under the bush hoping not to come out. Officials as usually checked my place and filled with some groceries and food stuffs. They never used to talk a single word with me! That was the part of my punishment, but this time story was different. My hidden life (puppy) started to bark loudly at the same time; even it could not leave me without a minute. Police official heard it loud and started to check and it was caught.
Since I was under severe punishment, presence of any being broke the law! Officer was raged with fear and arranged a meeting with in them self. Finally one of the senior police started to instruct me,
“We have no clues that how this puppy came here. It is against the verdict given for your crime. We don’t want to escalate and pose a threat to our job. There will be security check at the sea shore. Authorized head will come to know about your living with other being if we take this puppy to our place. We are not going to take risk. We will come back tomorrow to check the whole place and you better kill it for your safety, If not then we have to kill it tomorrow. We have no intentions to kill any being and you are already a killer. Better you do the job, if so then we will recommend your name and appeal to the court stating as good behaviour record and try to mitigate your punishment. Option is left to you; anyhow this puppy has to die”
They walked away with anger. They were clear with their intentions, but I could not believe my own years. I felt as if some hot iron rod was pierced in to my heart. For the first time in my life I cried. Yes, notorious criminal who is stupendously ambitious in his will do cry, mourned at myself. After thinking a while, Sméagol in me zoomed. It is a good opportunity for a sinking boat to sail further. You never know, I may be released soon. After all it is a puppy, when I have killed my own brother then what’s big deal in killing this small being? Mind started to swing again and lurking criminal pitched in.
I saw its innocent face, caring eyes, swaging tale! It came near to me jumping like a frog and started to lick my feet. It wanted to play with me. Once upon in my life I had attachment only towards money and relationship meant nothing, now a cute puppy looked all for me. Truly innocent love will change the being within. Sméagol’s negativity can only be a thought which flew once for a while through my mind, but I can never disassociate with this cute puppy. Overall this has given me the life and there will be no meaning to do the crime again. I really wanted to save its life.
I was sure that officer will surely kill it tomorrow if I don’t. There was no way to escape either. Long distant sea covering my place is unlikely to allow me to swim across, no other ways to rescue it. I am least bothered about my life as there is no meaning for it but puppy has. After thinking for a long time, I took a decision. I wanted to swim across carrying it on my back I was sure that I am going to die if I try to swim, but still something in me a transformed ‘being’ kept hopes of saving other life. Without giving further thought I tried to tie it on my back and jumped in to the sea whirling across the waves!
Till how long could I swim? Only meters I could make it and it was all over. I could not move my arms and legs slowly drowned in it. It was all over,I gave up and I could feel the mourning voice of my puppy on my back.
When I gained consciousness, I saw some doctors around smiling at me. I think I was rescued by the emergency squad. I dint know what happened to that puppy. I was surprised and sad. None talked to me at the hospital and I was taken to jail.
After a week, jailer came near to me smiled and shook my hand. He politely said to me,
“You have changed a lot since five years. We have no intention to punish rather we need to change all the offending minds to become good. We are happy that we have succeeded in our new experiment. Puppy’s plot was the check point from our side to know your state. Congratulations you have made it and free from today” J
I was shocked, cried and looked around. Heart was pounding with joy and my eyes started to search for the being which gave meaning in my life. I silently enjoyed my freedom and thanked the jailer for recognizing my inner change, surely not deceptive as had appeared at my earlier looks and deeds. I slowly walked out of the jail and at the gate as I truly wished; my lovely puppy was eagerly waiting for me,swagging it’s tail with tilted face. Busted with joy, I ran and carried it in my arms. I kissed it and it did the same.
-----Veerabhadra S Hegde